Independence from What?

I grew up understanding "Independence" to mean that you do not need to ever ask for help. The primary suggestion on this path is to earn a lot of money. The back up strategy is to simultaneously go numb to ensure no emotional weakspots.

So, when I first came to yoga, it was appropriate for me to assume that eventually I would be so flexible and strong that I would feel nothing. When I encountered new tightspots or postures I could not immediately do, I perceived the findings as a weakness to be overcome, skills to be mastered.

The belief that we need to be something other than we are is our prison cell. The notion that happiness is something to be achieved instead of simply experienced sets us up to create a system in which we can measure and quantify our level of joy. Essentially, if you have to ask if you are happy, you are not.

But this is super confusing. Because many of us begin a yoga practice with the sense that something could be better. We are drawn in as we feel looser, more open, more relaxed. There is a honeymoon period that can last years. And then, when the time is right, more of us invited to the party. And the play is no longer to just "feel better", but to increase our capacity to feel it all. And as we increase our capacity to hold the space for the apparent opposites, we widen and open our prison walls of how we and others are supposed to behave. This is when we start to taste Freedom. Freedom from our own confinements. Independence from our notions of independence.

This is not easy. The capacity and willingness to be vulnerable, not know, dependent on and trusting of the process takes mad skill. And if I had known that this was where opening my hips was going to lead me, I would never have bought that 20 class card. But once you have tasted the spaciousness of Liberation, you'll start to accept all the help you can get.